"Southern" Humor

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"Southern" Humor

Postby lindawing » August 21st, 2016, 12:36 am

I have a friend in California who e-mailed this to his friends today. It's a bit tacky in places, but it got me giggling. Asking forgiveness from any southerners out there...as you read this, you have permission to change the names of the places to NORTHERN areas! :lol:

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How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?

When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and the person at the front desk says, "Go ahead."

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An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to the driver, "Got any ID?"

The driver says, "'Bout what?"

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Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"

'Jes' some chickens."

"If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"

"Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!"

"OK. Ummmmm...five?"

* * * * * * * * * *
An Alabaman came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here-muh house is on fahr!"

"OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

"Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

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Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

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Billy Bob and Lester were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Lester, "Ya know, I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years I took your suggestions as to where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii, and Betty Sue got pregnant. Then two years ago you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Betty Sue got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti, and darned if Betty Sue didn't get pregnant again."

Lester asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Betty Sue WITH me."

* * * * * * * * * *
Ida Mae passed away, and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" she queried.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator then asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"

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Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?

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Where was the toothbrush invented?

Arkansas...if it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a TEETHbrush!

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What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas, and a hurricane in Florida have in common?

No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer!
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