Classy Insults

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Classy Insults

Postby lindawing » March 24th, 2016, 10:22 pm

These classy insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”
Disraeli, in return:
"That depends, Sir, on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy"
-Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
-Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw (to Winston Churchill)

"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second...if there is one."
-Winston Churchill (in response)

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
-Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
-Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support, rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but I'm afraid this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx
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Re: Classy Insults

Postby MelodyOkie » March 25th, 2016, 2:18 pm

:evillaugh: I especially enjoyed the first and the last. :yeah:
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Re: Classy Insults

Postby lindawing » March 25th, 2016, 10:29 pm

I think I liked the reference to the envelope without an address, the best. :lol:
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Re: Classy Insults

Postby MelodyOkie » March 25th, 2016, 11:42 pm

:evillaugh:
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