Paraprosdokians

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Paraprosdokians

Postby MelodyOkie » November 24th, 2015, 1:45 am

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the. latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit . . . Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' I put 'DOCTOR'.

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy .

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a mechanic.

16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby lindawing » November 24th, 2015, 3:20 am

Love them!!! :rotfl: :evillaugh:

My favorite is #11. :lol:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby MelodyOkie » November 24th, 2015, 3:59 am

That was my least favorite. Didn't really understand it. (Are the men supposed to think they are sexy or are the women supposed to become bald and fat?) :doh: :evillaugh:

I liked 1, 4, 7, 9, 10 (I have to remember that one!!), 13, 14 and 17. My favorites being 10 and 13. :evillaugh:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby lindawing » November 24th, 2015, 7:36 am

I think it was very tongue in cheek. What it says is that men seem to be able to walk down the street, regardless of how they look to others, and somehow think they are the sexiest things alive, while most women aren't able to do that. So...for men and women to be equal, then either men would have to start thinking like women and NOT think they are sexy at any given time and however they might actually look, or women would have to start thinking like men and think they are sexy no matter how they look to others.

Now, whether it might be a man or a woman making that rather satirical comment, is another question entirely! :evillaugh:

It was my favorite, because it made me laugh the most, because I can picture many guys I've met in the past who were some of the ugliest slobs ever, but who still thought they were God's gift to women. ;-) Most of those men also thought that they were far superior to any woman on earth, which is one reason any woman should want them, no matter how they looked. There's usually nothing that will change the opinion of those men...best to stay away from them, as far as I'm concerned, which just goes to prove that women are usually not only equal, but more superior! :lol: (It wouldn't be because anyone were ugly, or even unkempt, really, that would keep me away. It would be the attitude that went with it. Of course, the other side of the picture is that many of us women tend to go overboard the other way, and think that we could never be attractive to any man, because of ugliness or fatness, and we can be much harsher judges than any man ever could be.)

Just kidding, honestly, about either men or women being superior to each other...God sees us as His children. Period. In His eyes, if we have come to Him through Jesus, then we are equally His children, and we equally inherit His kingdom, because of that. In Heaven there is no preference. In this world, even when someone hasn't yet accepted Jesus as Lord, God still sees male and female equally, and gives each person every chance to become His child. Period. He doesn't play favorites, and He doesn't see one gender being more likely to come to Him than the other gender. He made both male and female in His image, and He hasn't taken it back, thankfully. ;-)
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby MelodyOkie » November 24th, 2015, 2:49 pm

:lol: I, on the other hand, have seen far too many women (regardless of how they look) - act as if they think they are "God's gift to all men". :evillaugh: I think it might just already be equal ... as they both "strut their stuff" with blinders on, not realizing they aren't quite as "hot" as they think they are. :lol:

I am forever grateful that God loves us as His children and not how we look outside, but He looks at our hearts - which are equally beautiful washed clean in the blood of Jesus! :friends:

I'm odd, because the one I laughed at most was #10. I think because it's something I would do.... (but don't, because Doctor's don't seem to appreciate my humor). :yeah: :lol:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby lindawing » November 24th, 2015, 9:55 pm

You're absolutely right about those "equal" women! I know a number of them, too! :evillaugh:

I loved that one, too! :lol:

You should have heard David and me bickering (not seriously) about #7!!! :grin:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby MelodyOkie » November 24th, 2015, 10:58 pm

:evillaugh: Ours was #9 :evillaugh: I often "blame him", but I never say it's "his fault". :evillaugh:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby lindawing » November 25th, 2015, 1:55 am

We do that, too. ;-) :lol: There are always lots of things we "blame on" each other. ;-)
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby MelodyOkie » November 25th, 2015, 2:48 am

:evillaugh:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby ukpoppyberry » November 27th, 2015, 9:28 am

I like number 4 :evillaugh:

It does seem to be though that men seem to be able to let it all hang out (their beer gut) and feel ok about it :rotfl: But then, you're right, some women can be like that too :doh: :evillaugh:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby MelodyOkie » November 27th, 2015, 5:30 pm

Oh, I like that one too!! There are many I've run into that "Know Everything" and are "Always Right". That is the best response for them! :evillaugh: :evillaugh:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby ukpoppyberry » November 27th, 2015, 6:07 pm

:rotfl:
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Re: Paraprosdokians

Postby lindawing » November 27th, 2015, 10:09 pm

#4 is perfect for my son Jonathan! Sigh
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