20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

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20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby MelodyOkie » July 6th, 2015, 10:10 pm

These were shared by a friend on facebook and I am sure some have made the rounds before, but sometimes it's ok to share again:

20 Jokes So Terrible They're Actually Funny.

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Is it common?"

Well, "It's Not Unusual."

8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."

"I don't believe you," says Dolly.

"It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I've cut off your arms!"

13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

18. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good...) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did!!!!!!!!
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby lindawing » July 6th, 2015, 10:40 pm

Giggled my way through! Heard most of them before, but they're still funny. Sitting here with a silly grin still on my face. Thanks, Melody! :grin:
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby MelodyOkie » July 7th, 2015, 12:11 am

:friends:
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby ukpoppyberry » July 7th, 2015, 9:35 am

Love the chess one, who thinks this stuff up? :rotfl:
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby lindawing » July 7th, 2015, 9:51 am

Right...like the supercali...etc. "cover!" :lol:
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby MelodyOkie » July 7th, 2015, 12:44 pm

:evillaugh:

Someone with a great sense of humor. I think, without realizing it, most of us come up with a funny antidote on occasion. Some just write them down and share them. :yeah:

:friends:
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby psychedelicsim » July 7th, 2015, 3:40 pm

:evillaugh: Those were great. Thanks for sharing, Melody!
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby MelodyOkie » July 7th, 2015, 6:48 pm

They were pretty good. :evillaugh: Thanks Carrie - when I saw them I just had to share them here!! :friends:
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby lindawing » July 7th, 2015, 8:16 pm

I love word-play jokes. The other day, I was saying to (Daddy) Harry, "I love how the boys know about joking with plays on words." He laughed and replied, "Well...they ARE my boys!" :lol: He is VERY good at it. :uhhuh:
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Re: 20 Jokes so Terrible - some are funny

Postby MelodyOkie » July 7th, 2015, 10:11 pm

:evillaugh: :joy:
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