I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
I had amnesia once...or twice.
I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible...I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home, and when he grows up he'll never be able to merge his car onto a freeway.
Two can live as cheaply as one (for half as long).
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread? Hmmm?
My weight is perfect for my height...which varies.
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
What's another word for thesaurus?
Is Marx' tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.